ifeelsodirty: (Default)
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh.

That's probably now on two lines due to LJ formatting, but yeah.

Urgh.

I don't even know what the problem is, to be honest. Everything? Nothing? Something in between?

Struggled to give a damn about Christmas, but I think I got there eventually. Been up and down about everything else since. Made sure I sorted birthday presents for the mother and step-father, although mum's was a closer run thing than I thought. And then I totally forgot about the bag of mini-presents that were supposed to be stocking fillers but never made it, so actually I could have given them some other little things. *sigh*

But yeah, I keep failing at those little things. And the big things.

I need to wash the car. I should get a haircut, nope, I need to. I need to book plane tickets, actually first I need to ask Andy if he wants to come to Berlin in such a way that is both vague and casual yet an actual question needing a definite answer. I need to wash the car. I need to book an eye appointment. I need to decide which optician to use. The car is due a service. I need to wash the car. I need to send a parcel to dad. I need to sign up for LARP games. I need to decide what I'm doing about said LARP games. I need to visit Gran. I need to be a better human being with actual appropriate emotional responses. I need to wash the car.

Kinda waiting for the frustration to take hold and kick me into gear, but it's not doing anything at the moment. Or decides to pick other stuff to do.

Did a lot of nice cooking last week. Well for me that is. (Effectively amounts to one traybake meal and a shepherd's pie) Ate the leftovers this week. Ordered Chinese last night for aforementioned birthday.

Yay food.

So food and money, parts of my life I have little problem with. Everything else is a nice gordian knot I'm trying to chew through. Although actually, I'm pretty sure this was on the list. So that's something.
ifeelsodirty: (Default)
I apologise for the lousy handwriting, spelling mistakes and the wangst. Oh the wangst.
Fairly picture heavy - look out! )

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ifeelsodirty

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