ifeelsodirty: (Coat/Ianto OTP)
[personal profile] ifeelsodirty
I have a confession to make.

I don't actually know how to LARP. After four and a half years, I can't really roleplay and I don't know how to do anything more complicated than swing at things in an easy to parry manner. This is easy to disguise if you're at the back of the party, you can assume that you've said enough words even if you've got 5 second gaps of "What the hell do I say" in there.

In front of spectators, it's a lot harder to hide. It's also really embarrassing.

That's why I've only entered one competition in the four previous events, and that was only the casting competition in last years event. Combat is out and scouting is right out.

So I didn't want to bring Lilium out for IC reasons (I wasn't sure about how the tourney was going to be, so I was happy to play as I was sure I could put her in for some things, just not combat), and I didn't want to bring Fran as I would definitely be in combat. So I said I was probably going to monster and I was told that was good and that I might be able to have a low combat monster role. So I actually signed up in good time for once! Go me.

I got the brief that my npc was on a team and was a druid scout. That was ok, as I said above, I was happy to try a competition and as I didn't know exactly how the tournament was run, I wasn't worried.

Then the unprepared fights were declared. I was not ok. I was already outside of my comfort zone, playing a druid scout with miracles and now I was 5 minutes into the day and I was already fighting and I didn't know how anything stacked and what level anything was and ah ah ah AH AH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHH! (Gotta love that moment where your mouth goes stone dry). I just kinda plodded about trying to work out what the hell to do. The other guys won it and I had already fucked up by casting while holding swords, so I went into the hut and cried for a minute, then came back out for the next fight, in which I panicked massively, surrendered after taking 5 points of damage, ran off, locked myself in the toilets and basically cried for an hour. Every time I thought I was cam enough, my brain went back to it and I started again. After that I paced in the toilets a few mins trying to get myself to go outside, I went outside and hid around the corner and at last I got to the monster hut to have a drink.

It's a pity really, because if I had held out for 20 mins more I'd have been able to distract myself with the scavenger hunt.

I calmed down during the champion matches, as I couldn't really do anything.

I was lucky the scouting competition was pretty clear, so I could just walk around from box to box. Only problem was shaky hands, I think I broke a good few of the boxes.

The war game was ok as it was simple, so I could relax and just try and hit things and not get hit.

The rest of the night was fine, no big problems, except that I hit a wall around dinnertime and couldn't really shake it off without stuff to do. Standing around in the cold drained the rest of me, so I thought I would go to bed before I started crying again.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I should have just taken a run around and stayed up. I would have felt better as I didn't sleep well at all. I think I went to bed too cold, and so didn't warm up. So I woke up feeling guilty, grumpy and tired.

Morning roleplay was a good warm up into the day and I almost didn't feel too bad about it as I had time to clear up how things stacked and what damage I should be doing and taking. So I went into it at full tilt and was happier about it, even though I lost my arm. That set me up, so even when I panicked later and bowed out after a couple of points of damage, and when I got called out on animal leap (oh god have I fucked up again), I was ok. Glad there wasn't much more than that, I probably couldn't have taken it, but it left me feeling satisfied.

Then I got to do standard monstering, die horribly, the usual.

So I competed in combat for the first time in five events. I feel like I've gotten away with it, not like I'd do it again.

But for all that fuss, I wish I'd just played a character. I would have gotten something out of it.
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